BOOM

BOOM

Phew. My most unfavorite holiday is over. I hope. There was residual fallout last night (July 5th) that prevented me from using the bathroom before bed. So what is ordinarily a one-day event turned into a two-day eternity.

I can't begin to tell you how much I hate this holidaiy. The ground shakes. The skies light up. But, it's the BOOM that sets it over the top. BOOM!!! And not just one, or two, or eighteen...but sometimes a whole hour. BOOM! BOOM!! BOOM!!!! This year, I think they were booming in my backyard. And they weren't spaced nicely...you know, allowing for recovery time.

Just one after the other after the other. BOOM!!!

Most holidays have some redeeming feature, and no other involves such a racket. Take Easter...there is always the chance that jellybeans or peeps are going to hit the floor. Or Christmas...now, there's a tense holiday, but it's not noisy. Is Sandy Claws really going to buy my attempt at convincing him how good I've been? So far, I haven't been totally shut-out, but I've never received what I asked for, either. World Peace seems to be off the table for now. I thought I had a shot last year at tree-climbing lessons, but that didn't happen. I'm working on this year's 'big' present. It's a secret. But, honestly, (don't tell Sandy) I'm pretty happy with Christmas cookies, so I'm not really sweating this. !BOOM! (see how irritating that is???)

Next year, I vote for flying flags, and marching in parades, and eating as many hot dogs as Joey Chestnut (66...if you need help with this, let me know). But let's leave out the

!!BOOMS!!

please.